admin | August 10, 2011
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Work on Life.

A little while ago I was asked to speak at an evening event run for a group of SME owners. I spent sometime looking for an area to build my talk around, in what was quiet a limiting timeframe, of 7 Minutes.

What can you cover in that short space of time? Whilst looking for images to put in to a dreaded power point presentation I came across a quote attributed to Freud “There’s love and life and life and love…. That’s all there is.”

It seems elegant, simple and direct in my mind. We are alive, living and searching for love, the course of a life summed up in 12 words, 52 characters or 63 with spaces.

But talking about love to a group of business owners is perhaps not the best way to promote the idea of engaging with a therapist, after all there is a perception that people use a therapist for when something is wrong and most common of all would be issues around stress, anxiety and depression.

These three all have a valid place in the body of work a therapist undertakes and in many cases are the main issues that occupy the public and private practices of many of a practitioner. In fact a short course of sessions, like the IAPT model practiced in the primary level of many NHS trusts can provide significant relief to an individual struggling to work through a time in their lives where the future is clouded by these issues.

All said and done talking about life and love to a group of business people seemed too touchy feely and something else would be needed.  I decided to play with Freud’s quote and came up with the following:

“There’s life and work and work on life… That’s all there is.”

It’s not for me to say whether this is still elegant, simple and direct but I can ask you how reading this statement challenges you, makes you feel or think.

From my perspective we all work, whether at a job or not and life is being experienced and travelled from our first cry to the last breath we take. How much work we do on life, in terms of how we understand us as an individual, those that are close to us and the effect this has on how the outside world sees us is something that we can change and affect. When we posses a clear understanding of our self we are seen and heard with clarity in the outside world. Whether that is our loved ones and families, our existing clients or those that we strive to make new relationships with.

Time put aside to work on life as opposed to our working life, may seem an extra burden in a life that is already crowded but what price a clearer understanding of you from within and without.

I’m happy to speak with people who want to work on life, whether this is driven by changing circumstances, attitudes or a feeling, either mental or emotional that life isn’t moving in the direction that it should.

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admin | July 6, 2011
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Starting therapy: How much time do you have?

Engaging with a therapist is going to take up your time and unless you are offered free sessions will cost you a sum of money so it probably makes sense to check that you are clear about the amount of time you have before you start.

Whilst I can’t cover specific reason for starting, I don’t know you and your personal experience; I can pose some questions, through this series of posts that you might want to consider.

As a good a starting point as any that I can think of is to consider this question “What is my relationship with myself like, how does that affect my relationships with those that are closest to me and how I am seen by the outside world?

The work that takes place in a therapists consulting room is about you and the therapists role in this relationship is to support you whilst you explore you issues around how you relate to you and present yourself in the world.

You may find that your therapists questions or challenges what you have said or done whilst you are in a session or points out that your position on a particular issues has changed since this was mentioned. It’s part of the process and in many ways this is the role of your therapist. To reflect on what is happen between the two of you and report back anything that has changed or is inconsistent.

At times this can be a provoking process, bringing with it many different emotions and thoughts. Whilst it seems sensible to say that a session may only last 50 minutes, the thoughts and emotions that may come up will take longer to process.

Balancing the time for sessions and the work that you do in-between them is an important part of a therapeutic process. Making time and space to find a good work life balance is difficult enough, adding in the time to process and work on you will mean extra time and effort.

The return for your investment in time and money may well be a clearer understanding of you and a changed relationship with the outside world.

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admin | July 6, 2011
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Starting therapy: How do you pick your therapist?

You’ve made the decision that therapy is for you and now you need to find your therapist, how do you go about find the right one to work with?

If you have decided that you have the time and money to engage with a therapist who runs a private practice, you will find that many of us have a degree of web presence and are easy to reach.

I would suggest that you start searching on the internet and base that around the most suitable location for. Therapists tend to operate through a long working day; many will offer appointments before, during and after normal office hours so you should be able to work with someone in your area at the time of day you feel most comfortable with.

I say should because it seems sensible to say that the most sought after sessions are usually before and after work and you may find that some therapists have a waiting list for these sessions. Some level of give and take may be necessary to find a day and time that works for you and when the therapist is available.

Picking the right type of therapist can seem daunting. Many labels are attached to a therapist professional qualifications and area of theoretical orientation. If you have the time and space to be able to do some research beforehand that might help, however I would recommend asking when you first speak to your therapist how they work, what sort of qualifications they have, whether they are a member of any professional bodies and how long they have been in practice.

You will find that most therapists are qualified to at least graduate level; many are holding post graduate qualifications and are members of a profession body such as The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy. Both these bodies publish codes of practices and ethical standards that there members uphold.

The therapist will ask you why you want to engage with someone, should explain how their fee structure works and if they have space to take you on will probably recommend an initial session. This session will give you a chance to speak about what you what to work on and gives you and the therapist time to decide whether you can work with each other. It is worth mentioning that many therapists will, in an initial session, ask about your family background,

Therapists will have a contract that offered to a client which covers, your confidentiality, fees, dates and times, duration of therapy, what happens when you are on holiday, how to cancel sessions and terminate your therapy. It isn’t unusual for a therapist to ask permission from a client to contact your GP should the need arise or ask whether you are taking any prescribed medications. Some contracts may include a clause stating that the therapist will not work with you if arrive for a session under the influence of narcotics or alcohol.

In many ways I’m sure that what I written sounds like a lot to hold on to, ask and absorb. I think it is important enough to bring up because what you are doing at this stage is forming a relationship unlike another that you have had before and it makes sense to have a set of boundaries around this.

You will know where you stand and what the implications of your actions are rather than guessing at the outcome or effect on this relationship. It will make sense as you and your therapist work together, creating a space in your life that feels safe and confidential for you to work on how you relate to yourself and the outside world.

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